Oh glorious day!
BJ took Norah to church and my parents have Toby for the weekend. I got time to spend all by myself this morning! Of course I used to it finish my exams, but still--it was so nice! I forgot what it feels like to have a quiet house in the morning. This is completely different to having the house quiet in the night-time; the kids are sleeping, the house is dark and creepy then. But I just love my house in the morning with the sun streaming in the kitchen window.
It could just be that everything is more beautiful and bright now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of my master's program....It's a beautiful day at the end of this tunnel!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My First Third Birthday Party
Toby had fun (I think) at his party last Friday. Did BJ and I have fun? Well, it certainly 
was stressful trying to keep track of so many families, and Toby just thought it was a free-for-all with gifts and cake. I asked Toby what he did for his birthday and he said "I got a race car cake all by myself." He's really into the "all by myself" phase. Except when it comes to potty training. Who says we get to just pick the things we'd like to do ourselves and then leave other things for mom and dad to take care of? I'd like to see Toby's list when he's an adult of the things he's doing all by himself and the things that he's expecting someone else to do for him. Hopefully the latter part of the list is shorter than it is now...
was stressful trying to keep track of so many families, and Toby just thought it was a free-for-all with gifts and cake. I asked Toby what he did for his birthday and he said "I got a race car cake all by myself." He's really into the "all by myself" phase. Except when it comes to potty training. Who says we get to just pick the things we'd like to do ourselves and then leave other things for mom and dad to take care of? I'd like to see Toby's list when he's an adult of the things he's doing all by himself and the things that he's expecting someone else to do for him. Hopefully the latter part of the list is shorter than it is now...
Sunday, June 22, 2008
My Blog Titles
A quick word about the titles of each blog...
No, I don't intend to leave BJ out of the family blog. He's welcome to post anytime he wants to. The trend to start each post with "My" in the title stems from the TV show Scrubs. The show has been on NBC for over 5 years and every episode is titled "My____." There's a link under the Favorites column. It's like Friends, where each episode is called "The one where ____." This is kind of like that. Except I'm not making any claims that my life and thoughts are as interesting or funny as JD's (the narrator and main character of Scrubs). I also am not making the claim that these posts are all about me me me. It was just a fun way to start a blog. I don't know if it will stick or not. We'll see how long it works. Maybe after the first hundred posts of "My" I'll start with "Our" in the title and see how long that lasts. Fun little writing experiment--not narcissistic I hope!
P.S. I am really supposed to be working on finishing master's projects and studying for comps, but Toby's not asleep yet and it's much easier to try and distract myself with this than homework!
No, I don't intend to leave BJ out of the family blog. He's welcome to post anytime he wants to. The trend to start each post with "My" in the title stems from the TV show Scrubs. The show has been on NBC for over 5 years and every episode is titled "My____." There's a link under the Favorites column. It's like Friends, where each episode is called "The one where ____." This is kind of like that. Except I'm not making any claims that my life and thoughts are as interesting or funny as JD's (the narrator and main character of Scrubs). I also am not making the claim that these posts are all about me me me. It was just a fun way to start a blog. I don't know if it will stick or not. We'll see how long it works. Maybe after the first hundred posts of "My" I'll start with "Our" in the title and see how long that lasts. Fun little writing experiment--not narcissistic I hope!
P.S. I am really supposed to be working on finishing master's projects and studying for comps, but Toby's not asleep yet and it's much easier to try and distract myself with this than homework!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
My Sleepy Car Ride
I love it when my kids sleep in the car! They were worn out from a busy 24 hours so they fell asleep almost as soon as I got them buckled in their car seats. I returned home yesterday afternoon from a quick trip to Denver to visit my parents and spend time with Kelli and Lincoln, after Toby's birthday pool party. I took my dad out for coffee for Father's Day (a week late). He had some really encouraging advice about our upcoming move, which I appreciated very much. He said we should try to think about how to use our gifts in our new situation, how to improve on what we find in CT. He said that we get to start with a new attitude out there; even though we're leaving here with an attitude of "this sucks" the people we meet out there can think of it as "bravery" for starting a new career path.So on the way home I thought about that conversation and everything that's gone wrong leading up to this move (that post will probably come at a later date--just to document the pile o' crap we've had dumped on us). The song "Ruin Me" by the Jeff Johnson Band came on the radio. Even though both of my kiddos were zonked out in the back seat I turned the radio up as far as I could stand and sang along (truthfully I turned it up really loud in order to not hear myself singing along!). The lyrics, which I can't find anywhere except on other people's blogs, highlight what I think God is trying to drill through our heads at this present time. Here they are:
Woe to me I am unclean
A sinner found in your presence
I see You seated on your throne
Exalted your glory surrounds You
Now the plans that I have made
Fail to compare
When I see your glory
Ruin my life
The plans that I've made
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain
Destroy the idols that have taken your place
Till it's You alone I live for
You alone I live for
You can visit Jeff Johnson's myspace page to hear the song.
So now you know, if you see some lunatic driving in her silver Honda with two sleeping kids in the back seat and she's singing her lungs out, it's probably to this song. (She's driving very safely, of course, just singing her lungs out.)
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My Attachments
We had some friends over last night that just had a baby three weeks ago. They asked if Norah has attached to anything. My response was, "anything soft." But Toby never really attached to any one thing. Instead, he now has to be carrying something with him (see the car and the cup in the photo?). In this picture they are both trying to blow spit bubbles. Norah's pretty good at it (she learned from her cousin Lincoln last week).
So this conversation got me wondering....Did I have any attachments as a child? Do I have any now? I remember that I had a bear I really liked and I lost it after church one day. Since I've been through the "I lost my little dog!" phase with Toby I have to say "thanks" to my parents for trying to appease me when I lost that bear. We've been to the Y twice to reclaim lost things before bed. They pretty much don't let Toby bring anything to the Y anymore because he tends to leave things there--all because their toys are much better than what he brings. That's why he hasn't attached to anything, I think. He's always ready to play with something else.
My attachments now are probably my kids. I feel weird going out in public alone without them. (Going out with BJ is just such a treat it's never weird to be without the kids.) When I'm solo I'm usually running errands or studying for school. So I feel incomplete without the baby carrier or Toby running by my side. I remember feeling this way after Toby was born. I felt like I needed the baby with me as if to announce, "ok, I'm only this heavy because I just had a baby. I'm not normally this big." So my attachments were born out of my own pride and self-consciousness.
So this conversation got me wondering....Did I have any attachments as a child? Do I have any now? I remember that I had a bear I really liked and I lost it after church one day. Since I've been through the "I lost my little dog!" phase with Toby I have to say "thanks" to my parents for trying to appease me when I lost that bear. We've been to the Y twice to reclaim lost things before bed. They pretty much don't let Toby bring anything to the Y anymore because he tends to leave things there--all because their toys are much better than what he brings. That's why he hasn't attached to anything, I think. He's always ready to play with something else.My attachments now are probably my kids. I feel weird going out in public alone without them. (Going out with BJ is just such a treat it's never weird to be without the kids.) When I'm solo I'm usually running errands or studying for school. So I feel incomplete without the baby carrier or Toby running by my side. I remember feeling this way after Toby was born. I felt like I needed the baby with me as if to announce, "ok, I'm only this heavy because I just had a baby. I'm not normally this big." So my attachments were born out of my own pride and self-consciousness.
My Cynicism
I'm guessing I may have to edit the title of this post to say "Part I" because I don't think I've gotten through the cynicism of moving and everything that it entails..... But I found this picture online and it made me laugh so hard! A little background: I have to read so many stupid posts for my online masters classes. Over the past two years I've had to put up with certain people's typos and "Yes, I totally agree!" postings. It's difficult to carry on an intelligent conversation about literature or library administration via email, but that's basically what this masters program tries to do. So I'm down to the last two weeks of class before my comprehensive exams. I thought about adding this picture as my signature line for the last week of class just to show that I don't care about trying to impress anyone anymore. I don't know if it would go over well... :)
Sunday, June 15, 2008
My Dark House
It's amazing how creepy a house can be when there are no lights on... I've gotten into the habit while BJ's away of putting the kids to bed and then keeping the house dark and quiet. It's a nice silence. But it gets really creepy after a while when I hear things go "bump" and I'm blinded by the light of the computer screen. I think I'm going to be blind by the time I'm 35 from all the time I spend staring at a computer screen in a dark room... Oh my gosh, 35 is only 5 years away....
Saturday, June 14, 2008
My To-Do list
What can be said about procrastination? When I am staring at the mountain of things on my To-Do list and just keep adding more (and the ones I add are things I've done anyway just so I can check them off!)?
Why do I do this? I have these huge projects before me: paint the kitchen, fix the leak in the pipes that's causing water to seep into the basement, downsize our belongings by half, finish my masters, and so on.... Yet all I want to do is sit here at the computer and surf and read trashy gossip or sit and watch Norah blow spit bubbles. I don't see much hope for myself. And yet the laundry continues to pile up.
I can't imagine working full time in the fall, and yet sometimes I feel like I was more efficient with the house-keeping when I was working full time. Oh wait, that was before these kids came along. I'm sure I could keep a perfect home and accomplish everything on my To-Do list if I didn't have to run around wiping noses and bottoms and cleaning up after someone (or three someones?). But I tell you what, there's nothing in the world that could make me give up the time I spend with my kids. Not even the allure of an accomplished To-Do list.
Why do I do this? I have these huge projects before me: paint the kitchen, fix the leak in the pipes that's causing water to seep into the basement, downsize our belongings by half, finish my masters, and so on.... Yet all I want to do is sit here at the computer and surf and read trashy gossip or sit and watch Norah blow spit bubbles. I don't see much hope for myself. And yet the laundry continues to pile up.
I can't imagine working full time in the fall, and yet sometimes I feel like I was more efficient with the house-keeping when I was working full time. Oh wait, that was before these kids came along. I'm sure I could keep a perfect home and accomplish everything on my To-Do list if I didn't have to run around wiping noses and bottoms and cleaning up after someone (or three someones?). But I tell you what, there's nothing in the world that could make me give up the time I spend with my kids. Not even the allure of an accomplished To-Do list.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
My Long Night
Yeah, it's almost 4:00 in the morning as I write this. What's got me up at this hour? (And typing on the computer instead of trying to get back to sleep for that matter???) Not my 3 month old, believe it or not (although she is what woke me out of my sound sleep 45 minutes ago).
Money.
I hate it. I hate that we've had money (income, that is) for the last 8 years and now we don't. That's a scary thing. And I mean really scary. It's funny to me that I can actually count the years that we've had income. Our first year of marriage we had nothing. We lived on school loans. I think I might have made $300 a month in my work study position. The rent and tuition money came from school loans. Loans we are still paying off to this day (and will for another 6 years or so I'd guess). I got my first teaching job paying $24,000 in Johnstown in 2000 and I thought that was so much money (compared to nothing it was a lot of money--but I wasn't deluded into thinking I was being well paid mind you). Then in 2001 we moved to the Springs and I started out making $28,000 in D-11. Again, a nice pay raise but not ever thinking that we made a lot of money. I don't even know how much BJ started making. It's always been like that since he started in the AF. Maybe it's because he didn't get a paycheck from the AF for the first few months. Maybe it's because we always seemed to make enough to live on, you know.
I didn't know how nice we had it. Until now. There's something shocking that no one tells you when a spouse looses their job: there will be a time when the money runs out. It's only shocking because it's glaringly obvious and yet you never seem to see it coming. That's why I'm up right now listening to the train whistle blow from across the highway. (On a tangent, I always hated when Toby would be up in the middle of the night but it seemed special to me when he'd quiet down enough from whatever was keeping him up to hear the train whistle. That was just a nice mother-son moment when he'd whisper "the train!" to me.)
And now I've heard something go "bump" in the night twice since I've started typing and I think I'm going to go check it out.....
Money.
I hate it. I hate that we've had money (income, that is) for the last 8 years and now we don't. That's a scary thing. And I mean really scary. It's funny to me that I can actually count the years that we've had income. Our first year of marriage we had nothing. We lived on school loans. I think I might have made $300 a month in my work study position. The rent and tuition money came from school loans. Loans we are still paying off to this day (and will for another 6 years or so I'd guess). I got my first teaching job paying $24,000 in Johnstown in 2000 and I thought that was so much money (compared to nothing it was a lot of money--but I wasn't deluded into thinking I was being well paid mind you). Then in 2001 we moved to the Springs and I started out making $28,000 in D-11. Again, a nice pay raise but not ever thinking that we made a lot of money. I don't even know how much BJ started making. It's always been like that since he started in the AF. Maybe it's because he didn't get a paycheck from the AF for the first few months. Maybe it's because we always seemed to make enough to live on, you know.
I didn't know how nice we had it. Until now. There's something shocking that no one tells you when a spouse looses their job: there will be a time when the money runs out. It's only shocking because it's glaringly obvious and yet you never seem to see it coming. That's why I'm up right now listening to the train whistle blow from across the highway. (On a tangent, I always hated when Toby would be up in the middle of the night but it seemed special to me when he'd quiet down enough from whatever was keeping him up to hear the train whistle. That was just a nice mother-son moment when he'd whisper "the train!" to me.)
And now I've heard something go "bump" in the night twice since I've started typing and I think I'm going to go check it out.....
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My Book Lover
If you only knew...
I put Toby to bed at 8:30 tonight. At 9:30 I heard a rustling sound coming from his room. If you can see the clock, it says 9:35 PM!
My New Frontier
Welcome to the world of blogging @ the Strawser's!
Herein lies the first of our (hopefully many) posts as we share news with family and friends.
I researched blogging as a project for my final master's class (Children's and Young Adult Lit.) and realized that we really should be on this bandwagon! So here you go, our blog in all it's infantile glory! :)
Herein lies the first of our (hopefully many) posts as we share news with family and friends.
I researched blogging as a project for my final master's class (Children's and Young Adult Lit.) and realized that we really should be on this bandwagon! So here you go, our blog in all it's infantile glory! :)
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